Art of Drinking a Woman

If you are thinking about how to please a woman with Oral Sex because of the title.. I must say that you are past redemption, for this writing is about not about Oral Pleasures but about a metophor which explains how to treat a woman in a relationship.. Ah and dont feel insulted my dear readers, I would have thought about oral sex as well..

To understand this metaphor you must imagine two things.

1. A Burgundy style Wine Glass

2. A real lady that you know

A Burgundy style wine glass is very thin and fragile, it has a small mouth which keeps the scent of the wine inside and there might even be cases that the drinker gets hit by the alcohol so hard that they might have problems breathing for a second. For that not to happen you must go easy or else your mind will be blown.

Lets think about the first phases of a relationship with that lovely woman you think of. You must definately go easy.. Just like holding the wine glass. If your grip thightens too much the glass will shatter and cut your hand.. The wounds and scars that are left later on depend on how thight your grip was.. It depends on you if you will be able to forget that woman or not. Do not use excessive force..

Than again dont let the glass too loose. You wouldnt want it to sip away from your hand.. Especially not before you took even one sip.

If you are going to take a sip dont take a sip before observing. Enjoy the crimson color and how the substance flows in the fragile safe haven it is in. Observe your woman.. Note down her reactions, get her talking, hear her voice as much as you can and let it play in your head like music.

It is just like opening the light of a room before entering it.. You never know if there is something blocking your way..

Once you enjoyed the color and substance enough take a sip..

But not too fast.. If it is too fast the alcohol will hit you and make you dizzy.. You might fall into the temptation of alcohol faster than you might want it.

Falling in to love with the first kiss of a woman and filling your lungs with her scent... cowering your mind with the red myst of greed and jealousy.... It is the most dangerous thing to do..

Stay in control and dont let your emotions drag you down a path that will give you nothing but shattered glasses of a once beautifull glass..

Licking the spilled Wine on the ground will only mutilate your tongue and make you swallow pieces of class which will make you choke on your own blood..

Dont become an animal..

Scent

I shall be the wolf to follow your scent

The shark to sniff your blood

I shall breath you

And shall release you within my pain

Suffocating you with my passion

Die, within me

Rot , within me

Become..

Me..

Art v.s Coca Cola

In search of love and immortality human kind has created "art". The gateway for us to express our emotions. Our "Art" is completely our own. Anyone who discusses that art is made for the society is in my opinion a selfish, absorbant asshole. Do the C.E.O`s of companies give me free money? Do I get free cars from Mercedes? Do I get free drinks from coca-cola?

Now you might argue that those people invest their time and money and future in to producing that stuff.. Do you think we do not? A artist needs to go through alot before establishing himself in a respectfull position where he might start to earn decent money.. Do you think a artist doesnt go through a pace of desperation caused by nihilism?

Why should I distrubute my art, a piece of my soul for free?

We very well know that everyone in this world is after profits. Why should be the artist so selfless after exposing his inner world. Havent we given enough to the society by just simply opening our minds and hearts to paper, film sheets and walls? Does a C.E.O of coca-cola company expose his heart and mind to the society by running his business? I doubt so.. Yet it is us who get demands of "art is for society" !

How about I say "Coca-cola" is for society..Yes , go ahead please tell us what is in that secret formula of Coca-cola.. Coca-cola is for society, so you need to tell us what is in it..

My argument crashes on the walls of a cave like echoes..

Only minds that have forced the walls of logic and limitations of human being will understand the depth of my argument.. And only the ones that had to bare the unbearable in this world will understand the frustration and anger.. and fear of future...

Infected Intoxication

I regret not having written here in the last few months. Not because I care of any of my readers but because of all the beautifull stuff that gathered in my mind and eroded away in time.

The past months can be explained as a hurricane of feelings thundering within me. I wont be able to discuss any of that here no matter how hard I try and how much aid I get from alcohol.. So I will just copy what I wrote on a filthy piece of paper that survived my terrible handwriting..

"It must be human nature to chase things. Maybe it is our wild instincts. After all our ancestors needed to stay hidden and ambush the animal for food. If the animal didnt drop dead they needed to chase it. So my theory is, unless you make someone fall in love with you immediately they will start to run even though they are wounded. Sometimes that person may escape and get hunted by someone else or it may die of the wounds. Than the only thing we need to do is find they corpse... However it is of great importance that I note the following here: The sight of a rotting corpse is not something for everyones appetite..So dont take your time..

Let us return to chasing,

A chase is for a person may have horrible effects on human mind. But it also forces you to confront yourself and value the dignity that is left within you. I say left, because I believe our pride and dignity deteriorates with every experiance we have in our life. We may learn alot from chasing about ourselves...

There is a degree of persistance.. We must never exceed it or else we would have to face the danger of total rejection subce we gave become "bothersome " and in some cases "creepy".

So how do we know that we reach our limit?

In my case it is paranoia.. in the case of others it may be jealousy, greed or murderous intentions..

Paranoia.. Ah! The disease of the insane. It is the ultimate form of fear. Only people that are immune to fear develop paranoia. It sounds contradicting but I will open it up for you. A paranoid person develops feelings of jealousy , fear and eventually hatred. People that never feared or doubted others are forced to become paranoid once they taste betrayal for the first time. The first betrayal leaves a sour taste and with every betrayal adding up these people start to live with the fear of tasting it again.

All the years of living with the illusion of total security gets destroyed. The of betrayal that has been stored inside of the person is unleashed upon his naivety. A naivety that never returns. Paranoia is build upon the decaying remains of that naivety. A twisted and corrupted image of the pure..

My friends.. The combination of paranoi together with the intoxication of pride of the human being creates a monstrosity that I call "Infected intoxication"

May this be a warning on all of us.. If you reach the limit, learn to end your future.."

End of the paper..

Valentines Day Reminder

So the day of the Valentines Day Losers is nearing.. My very blog is based on the Valentines Day and the more it closes in the more i have to think about its necessity.

Is it necessary to remind people that they are lonely? Well I thought about it.. and my answer is:

YES! Definately! The sole reason for this is because people need to be reminded of their loneliness. Loneliness can be turned in to a good weapon which allows your lifestyle to change dramatically. I think the most educational days were the Valentines Days that I had to experiance alone. Some of them ended with an orgy of my thoughts accompanied with a bottle of wine while others were accompanied by friends who seemingly didnt "care", which was of course an obvious lie on their part..

I think I remember the lonely Valentines Days more than the ones when I had a girlfriend. This year I will be having a girlfriend to enjoy , however most of my friends will be lonely. I hope that they think about what they are doing and maybe make some changes in their lifes. Just like a Turkish preverb states

"Loneliness is only for God"

Happy Valentines Day everyone.. Expect to hear less stories about me and woman, for I wish not to insult anyone during this period of joy..

Cauldron of Fire

If you are reading this keep in mind that I am now in Turkey and that I will live here for a year. I have managed to come to Turkey with the Erasmus programme. I am telling you this because my view on woman and life may change... well to be honest.. It has changed allready.

When I look back to my 3.5 years in Germany I cant really see the "good old days". I dont expect to make some nostalgia after living a month in Turkey but it is hard to remember the good days we had.. good days when we were not under the sideeffect of drinks.

Alcohol: is a good way to describe the things that changed. For one I dont drink everyday anymore. I have been drunk for only one night since i have been here. It means alot..because it has been a month! People dont drink that much.. they dont need to drink. I used to drink because I had nothing else to do.. nothing to occupy me.,not enough people to share my day with. In Germany it was more like staying at home the whole day and partying the whole night. When you are drunk you cant share much friendship since everyone somehow becomes your "friend" when you are drunk. I get the feeling that people are not afraid to share their emotions in Turkey. If they are angry or if they like you, they will definately let you know. In Germany most of our conversations only involved themes like "university", "teachers", "alcohol","politics".. That was all .. I am sorry if someone gets annoyed about my statement but this is the truth and many have agreed with me.. I am sorry if I cant put up with the boring topics..

Lifestyle: In Germany we used to party alot.. We danced alot and we drank alot. Like I have previously stated we didnt do much at day time. In Turkey it is the opposite. Here we like to meet up in the afternoon and go drink somewhere. We dont drink much and dont dance (although they say that we will soon). At night time we stay at someones place and play Dungeon&Dragons or go to the cinema. It is more about interacting and talking. The topics we talk about is different as well. People enjoy to talk about Romance, sex, money and a little gossip, way different than my previous Social life in Germany.

However there are problems too. I dont like how my friends are still acting as if they are teenagers. I dont mean to put myself here in a higher position, but seeing a 21-22 year old guy leaving the bar because his Mother or Grandmother tells him to be at home at 20pm is just fucking sad and riddiculous. I constantly think about how they endure this painfull humiliation. How can one person feel mature if they live under such "high school" rules. One of my friends says "Your family is different than ours. We have stronger bonds and loyalty" when I confront him with his problem. Hovewer this is simply a "BULLSHIT" explanation. What kind of family is to be respected if they dont respect your position as an adult? It is saddening..

What is the black hole?

1988-1996 (Germany)

1996-2006(Turkey)

2006-2009(Germany aka. The Black Hole)

2010- present day (Turkey)

I keep comparing today with the present of 2006. I used to have much more connections and my phone never stopped ringing.It was natural to lose some of my colleges in 3 years, It was to be expected and I dont feel sad about it.My core friends..Well let me fix that.. my brothers and sisters still remain intact :) I gained a 10 years experiance in Germany. I dont know if I shoudl feel thankfull or if I should hate the fact that I have become a cold and more distant person. A few of my friends confronted me about this change. I had nothing else to say than "sorry thats how things worked in Germany". Its been a month and I still havent recovered my "southern warmth". Troubling as it may be I am sure that I will become the old cheerfull myself again..

If you have been reading this entry to hear about Turkish chicks you are to be dissappointed ;) My blog is indeed about woman and my funny storys with them but an entry about Turkish woman has to wait. I assure you it will taste like good lagered wine when it is posted..

Prostitution

Many may argue that prostitution is forced on ALL woman. I would call that ignorance.

Now that I have your attention with my flametory argument I will continue to explain myself.

First we must discuss what prostitution is. Of course we all think about "sexual intercourse" the second we hear the word "prostitution". But prostitution doesn't necessarily need to involve sexual interaction. If a woman comforts a man for money without showing the slightest bit of interest or compassion on the involving action, it is considered prostitution in my eyes.

So to simplify what I have said I will give an example:

A college girl is in need of help for an on coming exam. This girl starts to date with the nerd of the class to get from him free lessons and to pass the on coming exam.Afterwards she dumps him.

Now in this example the girls didn't have sexual intercourse with nerd but she sacrificed her time. She gave him emotional support and hope. To be completely classic I would say "she has toyed with his emotions". Now the nerds foolishness is of course another part to discuss. Without knowing the nerd payed her for her services thus relinquishing his title "victim".

This is the most crucial part. We have labeled the girl as a prostitute, but we also took an unnatural way calling the boy responsible of his actions. Most people would drown in the sympathy and call him victim and even a "martyr of love". I believe it is foolish to put someone into such a high position. But the tale of the fool is another story..

As you see, a woman doesn't necessarily need to have sexual intercourse to be a prostitute but this is not main point. By defining prostitution I wanted to make clear that some woman are okay with such decisions. Not everyone is forced to prostitution. I was lucky enough to get the oppinion of prostitutes and I have to say there are a fair number of woman in this world who take part in this business on free will. Not only because of the money but also for the fun of it..

The Sexy City

A pity that I cant add music to my blog, so we will have to do with youtube links..

I wonder if I am the only one who enjoys the sky line of a city. It is amazing to see huge buildings in the distance and to see the lights. Whenever I see the skyline I think "wow there in the city right now someone is starving in the streets while some other guy fucks his girlfriend in the back of a club" same street, different story.. I dont want you to get me wrong, I dont think there is something wrong in this picture. That is how life is, that is how the city is.. It is a wild battlefield , from the hobos to the high ranking executives of a firm. Isnt this simply beautifull ? A carnage without rules, it is a deathmatch..

The city is the true face of humans. We may try to keep our dirty secrets within but the city will reveal everything to everyone who digs enough. I dont mean to say that we are scum.. That is just how nature is. If someone fucks you up it most likely because of our greedy nature. Therefore I love the city.. We are pretending but the city uncovers the whole filth..

Bloggers are idiots

Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few...

How true this sentence is.. Every single drop of this sentence is golden..

Yes, too many people write but so few read.. I dont blame anyone, hell I dont read blogs myself although I write one. Most of the time I think " why should I care what that guy over there says online, I dont even know him in RL". I doubt that anyone reads my blog, but I am not writing this blog with that purpose anyways..

This is a place where I put my thoughts in, I am not really interested in spreading them.. Although I have to spread it alittle so I can get some feedback. If there is one thing I have learned in life that that is "if u dont get a proper feedback, u will never learn.."

I am thankfull to those few who bothered to read and comment on the crap I post here..

People always want to be in the center, nearly every single person around me wants that.. Even if they try to act out of the gossips. We humans are hungry for the attention of the core.. We crave for it althout we dont know it, our hands reach for this and we dont even know if we are really doing it..

Life style of a winning loser..

Sometimes Im sick of hearing comments about myself.. and sometimes they just help me look up..

Comments force me to face myself.. even if they are good. I have been depressed now since 2 years for various reasons. The main reason why I moved out and started to live with 3 of my buddies was to lose the feeling that I am alone..

Here and now I have to admit that I failed in my plan.. I either had to fall in love or start living with others. I chose the latter one..

Well love and friendship are different things, we humans constantly need kind souls around us. I believe it is the reason of our existance, any person that denies this is a liar and is "inhuman" in my oppinion. Our daily quest of gaining wealth, prestige and power is based on a simple desire..

Let us face it, everyone is thirsty and hungry.. The only way to sate it is to charge head on to our problems. It takes courage and most of all , sacrifice.. I would lie if Id say that I have the balls for this. The expectations and the effort that is put into it is too big to handle, not only for me but for most of us.. and yes , even for you..

I hope no one will feel hurt if I state here that Europeans are rarely passionate, my lost interest on relationships can be explained with this statement..

to be continued..

Unexpected Kiss

It was a rainy and sucky friday evening.. I was waiting for the 706 to get home. I was tired, hungry and cold. While I was waiting two girls walked past me. I didnt pay any attention at them as I was strugling with my biological needs.

Suddenly someone touched my arm and I turned. It one of the girls from before. She was a blonde highschool girl, she had a naughty smile that I didnt forget till this day. As I was trying to remember who she was she simply let it out..

"Can I kiss you?"

I looked as dumb as I could. Completely shocked.. I couldnt give an answer, not because that I was that shocked at this request but it was simply because she didnt let me.. As soon as I heard those words , she landed a passionate kiss. It didnt last for too long but it was definately fun and exciting. After spending half a minute kissing me she leaned back, smiled at me landed another kiss and walked away with her giggling friend... I never saw her again..


These kinds of things dont happen everyday, and it is worth writing..

I admire that girl for her courage..

As for today I still ask myseelf why she kissed me.. Was she drunk? Definately not, the kiss didnt taste after alkohol.Maybe drugs than? But than again I didnt get the impression..

I guess she just wanted to kiss someone.. Good for her and good for me.. I was feeling lonely anyways..

The Valentines Day Loser starts his journey..

Now that I have written a few posts to make a simple introduction of my life im about to start the real blog..

As you see my blogs name is "Romance of the Valentines Day Loser", apparently I am the Valentines Day Loser.. Therefore from today on I will start to share you my experiances with woman.. Some of the stories will be funny while some of them may sound plainly stupid.

Here comes a story of today:


I was sitting in the train listening to a song when a goddess caught my attention. Long, dark , straight hair falling down on her shoulders.. She was clearly european but she had the beautifull eye shape of a southlander. I couldnt stop looking at her.. Her face was perfect, it had the elegance of a lady and the cuteness of a highschool girl.

Whilst I was looking at her like a idiot behind my sunglasses the train arrived to the Mainstation. The last two stations I kept saying these words to my self:

"Come on dude, maybe she is single as well.."
"Dont count on your looks, count on the heath of the moment"
"Go to her, and if you get turned down you have at least had some adrenaline!!!"

My body filled with excitement when I saw her standing up to get out of the train. I jumped out of the train after her. It was only than when I payed attention at her physic.. She was gorgeous..At this point I have to point out that I rarely pay attention to the curves of a woman..

But this woman was simply incredible.. I was impressed to no end and I decided to follow her and intercept her. She walked in to the station and I follow her. It took me 3 times to stop her. At the first two times I raised my hand but lost energy. I simply couldnt touch her shoulder and stop her. But at the third try I managed it..

She turned at me with a little suprised face, than came the following

???= Oh..
Burak= Heya
*the girls smiles and says*= Heya
*I grab offer my hand and we shake hands*
Burak= Im Burak and youuu areee? *I put a nice smile on my face*

The girls puts a cute smile on her face, the kind of smile that says "aaaaah I know what you are up to sweety..".
Christine= Im Christine..
Burak= So umm.. would you like to drink a coffee or something?
Christine= Sorry, I dont have time (here she puts a "awww u poor guy smile")
Burak= Oh so u dont have time for now.. how about later? (here I put the "Never give up!!" face)
Christine= Sorry no time at all (she smiles even more cuter)
Burak= Oh, okay than.. have a good day.. see ya..
Christine= See yaaa..

And so I walk my way and she walks hers.. I knew what was coming so I wasnt surprised and I didnt feel any sadness or rejection. I loved the adrenaline and heat of the moment.. I felt manly, strong and confident. My knees were soft and my body was pumped up with energy. When I entered my train to get home I said to myself..


"That was awesome, I should do it more often.."

Türkiye

I will write this once, and never again..


I am proud of my heritage..

Im proud being Turkish.. Although I sometimes have my disagreements.. I cant stop loving it..

If pride would have been a crime id be sentenced for life..

The Journey to the North

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PBeKzVhWHY

Maybe I shouldnt have come to Germany..

I feel like everything I have done since 2006 summer, every step that I have taken was a huge mistake.. I remember the words I heard from a person that was once very dear to me

"You will not succeed anything in Germany, you will come back to Turkey, I dont believe that you will achieve anything.."

Maybe she was right..I hate to admit it, it instults my honor...

True, I havent achieved anything. I kept starting over and over again.. Meanwhile I lost precious people and parts of my past. It pains me that I have become so depressed..

I hate it..

But what would have happened had I stayed in Turkey? I wouldnt have grown so much I wouldnt have learned so much.. But was this all really worth the sacrifice? I doubt it..

There was a time when I loved myself, a time when I thought that I was at the top.. I was intoxicated.. Now that I witness that I am no longer at the top and that I am being crushed under the foot of my consciousness I see that my Intoxication has been infected...

I should stop thinking about the past, unfortunately I cant.. I must let go of it.. This makes me sick, I keep talking about myself its always "I, I , I!!!".. Gökhan said "we must let go off our past, time passes by we have grown up, we were foolish at the past.. Foolishness is Happyness". He is right. He couldnt put it in a better way.

I am fully aware of this situation, I should cope with it. My belief is that the first step is to stop hating yourself..

Time to pull the act together and acting like a man.. The time for whining blaming is over.. It is time to stand up and receive or deliver the last punch...

Romance of the Valentines Day Loser

Why Valentines Day Loser?

Well it is obvious isnt it?

Isnt the Romance of the Valentines Day Loser the best?

You are confused... I will explain it to you with an example. Today I was in the cafe with two friends of mine, they both ranted about they boys they like and how they dont pay attention to them. I told both the girls to calm down and told them the truth. I believe it was not convenient for them but than again truth always hurts..

While they were going on with their ranting I looked outside of the window. It was a rainy summer day. It was warm and the water that was gushing down the street was not colder than a shower. I thought about what I would have done If I had a girlfriend...

I would have grabbed her by her hand, dragged her outside kissed her beneath the big oak tree while the rain softly wet our clothes. Than I would go with her home, take a bath ,open a wine bottle and have a most romantic night under candle light...


Now you know , why I call this place "The Romance of the Valentines Day Loser"...

Sei is out!

Wine

Yeah yeah , this is pretty nice.. Starting a blog after drinking almost a bottle of wine. Well I had to start it anyways and I cant think of a better day..

I have been feeling down, I have been feeling weird. I think that is because I stopped smoking. Why did I stop? Because I was smelling bad and I know that woman dont like the taste of tobacco unless they smoke themselves ( even than they dont like it). The idea came when I reached for my parfume, I was about to go to the university and as always I was going to use my perfume. I used it and than grabbed my cigarettes.. Only than did I see how stupid it was to do this..

I knew that once I would be in the university I would smoke one with Dominik or someone else. THAN WHY USE THE FUCKING PERFUME??? Its awesome smell would vanish the second I lit up my cigarette.. So that was the reason why I quit..

Now Im gonna tell you why I smoked a cigarette today. It was because I was fucked up in my mind for 2 weeks. I couldnt focus I couldnt understand, I believe people thought of me as a freak ( I dont give a fuck most of the time). I had to gather my consciousness.. So that was why I filled my lungs with that sweet deadly little piece of shit...


Sei Out...